


Claire's Diary

by sofie_vivianna



Category: Questionable Content
Genre: Cute, Diary/Journal, Fluff, Gen, It's really just cute, Squee, Trans Female Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-19
Updated: 2014-12-19
Packaged: 2018-03-02 06:26:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2802761
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sofie_vivianna/pseuds/sofie_vivianna
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Claire keeps a diary.  In it she mentions Marten.  Fairly often.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Claire's Diary

**Author's Note:**

  * For [WickedWonder](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WickedWonder/gifts).



I started my internship at the library today and it was.... weird. I'm still fairly convinced it was some kind of weird hazing ritual. When we turned up Tai said she was high as hell (what sort of person turns up to work high? I really don't understand), and she left us with this guy, Marten, who didn't seem to know anything about how the library worked. He had no qualifications and the first thing he did was take us to get coffee. The place we went to was pretty weird. All the staff were going out of their way to be rude to us, and the smoothie that Emily got was just a banana, smashed with a hammer. Like, who even does that?

Marten seemed to wake up a bit once he'd had coffee. I guess he's just not a morning person. Maybe I should get him a coffee on my way in to work tomorrow. He actually showed us a whole load of interesting, useful stuff. He says he's not qualified, but he seems to be good at his job. He's got a cute smile too.

*****

I can't believe how lucky I am that I get to work in the library every day! It's great, being surrounded by books, and knowledge. And Marten is a really nice guy too. He seemed really tired this morning, but apparently Tai woke him up in the middle of the night to talk, after her date with Dora. I'm still surprised at how cool Marten is with Tai and Dora dating, especially as Dora is his ex. But I guess he's just a really nice guy. He even offered to go out on the coffee run, as Tai was tired as well. I offered to go with him to keep him company, but just as our drinks were ready (Emily still insists on having that disgusting smoothie, and it takes longer to make than any of the coffees), Clinton showed up.

I can't believe it, I was so embarrassed. As always, everyone thought we were twins. God, I hope that Marten doesn't think I'm a total dork, like Clinton. I know we look similar, but can't people see that we're different ages? It turns out that he's been going in there for AGES, and bothering Hannelore. I know that her Dad is like, the super smart guy who made Clinton's hand possible, but I'm not going to fangirl over him. But even Marten says her Dad is cool, and I just made a huge fool out of myself in front of an amazing guy and one of his friends. I just wish the earth would swallow me up sometimes.

******

I'm really starting to like Marten. He's so cute, and funny, and just makes me feel so at ease. But I don't know if he'd still be so friendly with me if he knew the truth. God, I hate the fact that it feels like I'm hiding something from him, almost like I'm ashamed of who I am. I'm not ashamed. But people might see me differently if they knew. It's a scary world out there, but I think I can trust Marten. I mean, he's cool being friends with Tai, and Dora, and has never said anything negative about their sexuality. I'm fairly sure he'd be cool about me as well.

******

The party was great fun. Everyone was so lovely, it was wonderful to get to know Emily and Tai better outside of work. And Marten, obviously. And all of his other friends. They're such a strange, but accepting group of people. They made me feel welcome. I've never really been around people who are happy to just take people as they are, to welcome in a strange, geeky, red head as if she had always been part of their group.

I have to admit, it got a little overwhelming. I went and sat out on the dock for a while, to get some fresh air, and think. When Marten came and sat next to me, and told me that I'm his friend, I came to the decision that now was the time. I decided to tell Marten that I'm trans.

And he took it amazingly. At least, I think he did. He didn't ask stupid, personal questions, or anything, and he didn't seem to treat me any differently. But who knows if he'll fancy me now. I mean, I don't know if he does fancy me, nothing seems to point to the fact that he does. But what if, in the future, he would start fancying me, but now, he won't, because he knows. But better that he knows and never fancies me, than fancies me and then finds out and stops. Gah, I wish I could totally stop over-thinking this whole thing.

He probably doesn't fancy you, Claire, and he probably never will, and his knowing you're trans isn't going to make any difference.

******  
Just got back from buying a pretty new dress! Don't really have the time to write much, as I've got so much to fit in, but just wanted to preserve this moment in my diary. I offered to drive Marten to his Dad's wedding, and got invited to the wedding as well. I can't believe that I'm going to be meeting all of Marten's family. It's very exciting, but I'm so nervous as well.

But road trip with Marten! This could go amazingly well, or terribly badly. I hope it goes well, and he isn't fed up of me by the time we get there. We're sharing a room as well. I hope he doesn't snore. And I REALLY hope that the room has two beds. How embarrassing would it be if we got there and there was only one bed? Like, I wouldn't mind snuggling up to Marten for a couple of nights, but I'd hate if he felt forced into it!

******  
The wedding was amazing fun. I mean, the ceremony was crazy short, but the reception, the reception was amazing! So much dancing, so much scotch. But.... I guess Marten and I must have gotten really drunk and passed out on his bed. I woke up in the middle of the night needing the bathroom, and I was totally cuddled up to him. It was, actually really lovely. I didn't want to move, but the bladder wants what the bladder wants, so I had to get up. He seemed to stir a little bit as I did, I guess my movement woke him up a bit. But then after using the bathroom, I didn't know what to do.

Of course, I wanted to cuddle him and fall asleep on his bed again, but somehow, getting back into his bed seemed weird. Like us both falling asleep together accidentally was one thing, but deliberately doing it was something else. So I got back into my bed and went back to sleep.

This morning he seemed a little weird when we woke up though. Oh god, maybe he was hoping I'd get back into his bed and was upset that I didn't. Maybe he likes me, but now thinks that I don't like him. He's not mentioned anything at all though. Maybe he didn't even know I fell asleep on his bed. Maybe he wasn't being weird, he was just being hungover. What if I've messed up big time. What if this was my only chance to show him how I feel about him, and now he just thinks I've blown him off and I'm not interested.

Should I mention it to him? How do you even bring that sort of thing up?

I guess it's probably best to just keep quiet, and hope that he doesn't remember anything.

******

OMG. He likes me. He really likes me. I've no idea where this is heading, but I am going to stop trying to analyse everything and just ENJOY!!!!!!!


End file.
